Three guys were talking in a pub. Two were boasting about the control they had over their wives. The third man, who had remained quiet, was asked if he had been equally successful.
“The other night” he said “my wife came to me on her hands & knees”
The others, suitably impressed, asked “What happened next ?
The third man took a swig of beer, cleared his throat and finally admitted
“She said 'Come out from under the bed and fight like a man.’ ’”
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A music teacher taught his pets, two dogs & a cat to play classical trios. He called them Bark, Offenbark and Depussy.
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St Peter and Satan were having an argument about who was going to repair the hole that had appeared in the wall between Heaven and Hell.
Said Peter “If you don't fix that wall, I'll sue you”
Satan smiled and replied “You'll sue me, will you? And where do you think you’ll find a lawyer in Heaven ?”
